I am totally going to have spoilers from last night’s episode, so don’t keep reading if you haven’t watched This Is Us yet.  I’ll give you time to keep scrolling with a very important Christmas question…

Clear or colored lights on your tree??  Tom and I are actually in different camps on this one.  I like clear and he likes colored lights.  He thinks colored lights are more fun and clear lights are boring.  I think clear lights look SO MUCH better.  Who do you think won this one?  We’re getting our tree on Saturday, and I’ll post a pic when it’s up to show you.

Okay, so This is Us, I am honestly most upset that we have to wait until January 2nd for another episode!  And there wasn’t even a teaser at the end of the show.  Yes, I know December flies by with all the holiday stuff, but there is no way that I would not be able to make time for This is Us.  The ratings would not go down.  Shows aren’t recorded and then played the next week.  It’s not like I am asking these people to work over the holidays.  Just don’t abandon me for 5 weeks.

Could Randall get any more perfect??  I was kind of mad at him when he was so adamant about keeping Deja.  Totally understandable about not trusting her mom and wanting to keep her safe, but I just wasn’t really on board with getting a lawyer.  It was completely perfect how they tied in his situation growing up to Deja’s.  When William was telling him about how he followed his mom home, I couldn’t even focus on what was happening.  How in the world does Randall not remember him??  How did we not know this yet and how does anything else make sense???  Oh, then William saw bikes out front and didn’t knock.  This made me feel better about what Rebecca did.  I was so mad at her last season, stupid Mandy Moore.  This anger gets directed at the dumb, young teeny bopper from the late 90s that sang those annoying songs like “Candy.”  Remember that Mandy Moore??  Google it, hilariously terrible.

I love that Randall wants to go to Howard over Harvard and how its tough for Jack to wrap his mind around anything being better than an Ive League.  We all have hopes and dreams never fully realized and not projecting them onto our own children is totally a thing.  Jack taking Randall to the memorial in DC, heart melting.  He says the most perfect things to each of his very different kids.

I worry about that as a parent.  Not the being perfect part because that ship has freaking sailed, but knowing what each of them need from me.  They ask for food all day long, but they don’t tell me what I need to provide emotionally so they don’t end up on some therapist’s couch someday, talking about how I failed them.  At bible study today, someone was talking about the recent loss of her mother.  She said she was not only grieving her mother, but also the mother that she never was.  And that made me sad.  Trying to see myself through my children’s eyes is a weird exercise, and it makes me think about how I saw my mother when I was growing up.  I thought she had everything figured out, which is why I have trouble with the fact that I totally don’t.  But then I think maybe she didn’t, and that makes me feel better because maybe my kids think the same thing I did.

My heart stopped beating, when Randall couldn’t find Tess.  I immediately thought both girls were hiding in the back of Kevin’s car, he was going to crash, and the girls were going to get hurt.  I was glad it wasn’t both of them, but even happier when he got pulled over.  So can this please be the rock bottom for him??  This is getting hard to watch, but you know I will keep watching.
I hope you are having a fabulous week!  And what’s your vote for Christmas tree lights?  And who do you think won the light wars in my house?

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